About Charles Smith
My story starts with being the best-dressed little kid in town, I had everything I wanted in life. My father owned multiple Nursing Homes in the Worcester MA area which would be my legacy. His Nursing Home in Millbury is where he met my mother who worked for him as a CNA. When I was about 3 years old my life changed drastically as my father lost everything due to an unknown reason in one day at least we kids never learned why. When I was 5 years old my mother died, and my father moved me and my sister around a lot. This included a Navajo Reservation in Arizona where I was the only white boy on the Res and was treated as such. I was actually forced to become a blood brother when some of the kids held me down, and cut me, forcing me to exchange blood with another. This was some sort of ritual to make me more like them I guess. We moved to the US-Mexico border in the small town of Van Horn Texas after that, where again I was the minority and treated as such, I was bullied and in fights every day with the other kids.
When I was 11 years old my father died, I held his hand as he died in the hospital leaving me and my sister, now orphans without any family around; in that part of the country anyway. My family up in Massachusetts heard about what happened and sent my Uncle down to rescue us, we were flying back so my sister and I had to leave just about everything behind, including my dog Max whom I heard was taken in by a neighbor. My Uncle could only describe our living conditions to my Grandfather as unlivable when he asked. My father did the best he could for us, but we still lived extremely poorly. When my father died I was in a deep shock, unable to speak for about 6 months. I ended up getting through this, but it was replaced by hatred and resentment. I ended up being a kid who hated the world for what happened to me, and anyone who tried to be my family, thinking why did my life end up like this? I felt like the world owed me for my loss. I went through most of my young adult life like this too and became an addict, addicted to cocaine, alcohol, and smoking a lot of marijuana! I ended up going into the military because I screwed my life up so much that my Aunt that I lived with told me to go out and get a job or don't come home, which now I see as a blessing! I came back and told her and my Uncle I joined the Military, and I'm leaving home!
After graduating Basic & AIT and being the only soldier without family at my graduation, I went to Fort Carson Colorado where I spent the next 3 years on active duty being my CO's Bradly Driver and finding a place I could excel, I also found myself in a tank explosion and Gitmo Bay Cuba for 6 months, but I gotta save some for my autobiography. After the military, I worked odd jobs including security and sales until my Uncle who raised me and my Grandfather died a month apart. When this happened I ended up in a dark depression, I became a carver, cutting into my skin to feel something other than the hellish pain I was feeling. I wanted to have them back now after resenting them all these years. I wanted to tell them, show them I loved them and could change! I was so darkened by this depression that I tried taking my own life with a bottle of sleeping pills and the words "f** you world" carved into my arm. Some of my friends found me the next day and got me to the hospital. I remember hearing a Dr. say he was amazed I was still alive, he wasn't the only one! The hospital sent me to the VA Brockton Mental Health facility where I spent a few days before they sent me away and I ended up homeless on the streets of Boston for a while before finding VA Homeless shelters where I began to see things in a different light. I was finally diagnosed with P.T.S.D. which the doctors tell me I had since my mother died, my family and I never knew, and P.T.S.D. was unheard of in someone who wasn't in a war zone until a few years before. Who would have thought a child had what was known as "battle fatigue"? I went undiagnosed for decades, but now that I knew I could begin proper recovery. I have seen all the homeless heroes/veterans and began to realize I wasn't alone, life kicks a lot of us in the ass and it's up to us if we lay down and die with the words "f** you world" carved in our arms, or we get up, brush the dust off and keep moving forward! I ended up brushing the dust off, it took me a few years but I got out of that situation and found peace in my life for the first time since I was a child. I began to find coping skills that worked for me such as martial arts and exercise. I also began to realize one of my best coping skills and qualities was helping others and sharing my story. I began working as a Private Investigator and Security Consultant for a time, and as a Peer Support Specialist including addiction recovery, and a Case Manager, oh, and an author of some great self-help books! Like I said though I have gotta save some for my autobiography. These days life is not perfect, I only see my son on the weekends, but I talk to him daily. Not the life I want for either of us, especially given how close we are, but this is how life turned out for us. I still have tragedies like my cousin whom I idolized going missing for 6 months in 2016, this guy had all the girls, money, the biggest truck, and the title for being one of the toughest people in Worcester! The only thing that was stronger than he was, was the opioid epidemic we currently face! His body was found in the woods with Lyme and drug paraphernalia around his body and worst of all they had to do dental recognition to identify him when a hunter was walking his dog and found him. It was pure hell searching for him for 6 months, it engulfed me, my entire life at that time, and when he was found it was like someone stabbed me in the gut! Instead of letting this pull me back down though I used my coping skills to remain strong and help those whom this epidemic is killing! I began helping to find people who are missing in my area, especially those who are affected by this epidemic were facing. I now live for the memory of those I lost in my life, being the person they would want me to be. I tell my story to inspire others and show them no matter how bad life gets if you keep pushing, fight hard, and refuse to be put down then you can rise above and have a good life no matter what cards you're dealt with!
